le sigh.

nose hurts
miss colt
need to clean
need to read
need to write
should be working.

...sleeping.

t.s. eliot!! stop making fun of me!!

i didn't forget about this- just took a vacation. lost my mind a bit.

but now i've gathered a few of my marbles and... if i had more than five minutes i would probably say something substantial.

instead, i will note that everything in my head right now deserves to be there or is trivial and non-emotional.

RIGHT NOW

nothing is bothering me :-D i think that is a good start to a beautiful fall semester.

(ps: the waste land makes perfect sense to me in kari-terminology. the conclusion that i have come to is that mister t.s. ladidah is mocking us because it doesn't matter how we interpret his melting pot of a poem, we're never going to know what he was thinking when he wrote it!!! unless he was thinking "fuck you. criticize this.")

kari.

i can't sleep.

moral quandary.

i think im ready to stop talking to harrison because i can't trust him and his friends hate me.

but i am scared to.

all i can think about is batman.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/07/16/digg-this-7-cheats-for-hitting-the-front-page-of-digg/
^ this post/article/digged-item made me laugh a lot.

fyi:
im pretty much loving life right now.

no me gusta la clase de espanol. Es difícil para un perro viejo aprenda nuevos idiomas.

Basically school is ok. i have to be on campus a lot more than i typically agree with, what with the four hour art class and the 2 hour spanish class plus whatever lab time i can muster. but uhhh... i dont know. ive been pretty anxious recently. i wake up and have to just lay there for a while and compose myself. it has also been starting to happen more frequently during the day. anddd i have been having some pretty bizarre dreams that i can't seem to remember. on the flip side i feel really good about the people ive been hanging out with and the fact that they all seem to kinda want me there... im used to just sitting back and not stepping on toes, and we all know thats not friendship or anything, but its all ive known for the last couple of years. basically im really happy with where i am right now except for the anxiety and my infrequent freak outs. oh and saying things i shouldn't. still working on that one. god bless stephanie and erin for listening to even half of my crap.

seriously though, i love my friends. even the ones i just met yesterday. they're all pretty sweet people so far. and blatantly honest to boot...

if anyone actually reads this and knows what to do about anxiety please help me out... im definately ready to not have to deal with it anymore.

<3
kari.

hello. my cat chomsky is sleeping next to me looking really cute. jeremy is on the computer. stephanie is making a scavenger hunt for erin, and erin is at work.

i need to go do homework but jeremy threatened to leave negative comments.

here is a really fun picture from last night.

i love mah brothers.

uhh....

...

I have not blogged since high school nor have I taken any creative writing classes. Hopefully this will not be the teenage-angst ridden blog of my younger years and hopefully it will improve my writing.

And vocabulary.

Ok. So I will now indulge myself with some stream of consciousness. Sounds like an easy way to get back into this nonsense.

When I used to blog I always had a *deep thought* at the end. Right now my deep thought is: HURRY get out of college or at least out of this funk you are in! The tools are there but my hands are numb. I'm at a loss for words. I go through my days mechanically. And worst of all I overanalyze EVERYtHING. My primary objective is to live without fear (fear of shit not worth fearing that is). So that's what I have just realized I need to do. How funny is it that in my 20's, I've just now realized this? Here's what I think about our little society- We fall into little labels/stereotypes/catagories provided by just about every element of our environment. To rebel against that is to conform, and to conform is to be ignorant... I feel like a hamster. Society tells me I need a career. Ok. I graduate in a year and a half. It tells me I need a hobby. Does drinking and hanging out with friends count? At least I have reading on my side. The one that kills me is the whole "nuclear family" thing... which don't get me wrong, it's probably the thing I want most of all ("we don't always get what we want" rings in my head). This is me putting positive vibes out into the universe: I know this shit will pass... but it sucks pretty hard right now.


Do unto others...



THE END!
<3 kari.